To Love and Allow

I love my husband deeply, yet I know that I do not own him in any way. My inner knowingness recognizes that he is on his own path and that being married to me is a part of that journey he is on. I am most grateful that we share a big part of each other's life. It has taken me quiet some time and some bitter disappointments in other relationships to enjoy the experience of loving someone without having to control him in any way. I can allow this person that I love simply to be, even though that may be diametrically opposite to what I am, or to what I may prefer him to be.

For me, this is the essence of the marriage relationship at a conscious loving level. The ability to suspend judgment about how we feel our loved one should be conducting his or her life, and to love that person as is, is a valuable exercise in detachment. Suspending judgment means honoring his needs and right to be on his own path according to his own inner directives without my uninvited input.

My husband and I are very different from each other. In many respects I would describe us as opposites. Love often seems to work this way, allowing us to have in our loved one some of the qualities that we have not elected for ourselves. We do not seem to fall in love with those who have identical qualities. Perhaps that is because we already live with those ways of being in all of our waking moments, and to choose them in another would make for a redundant relationship. I have stopped judging and fighting the differences, and instead remind myself to be greatful for the new flavor that he brings so deliciously into my life every day. We lovingly and playfully acknowledge that we do not have to please each other all the time, nor do we even have to understand each other. This is the quality that detachment from ownership in a relationship brings. It allows us to truly appreciate the opposite "strange" qualities in each other. When a need to convert him appears, I remind myself that I fell in love with this man for what he was. On occasions I admit to being inwardly perplexed by his views and actions, but can also shift instantly to loving him for that, rather than having an internal dialogue which tries to make him wrong.

EMC at the Cascade Classic

NICE! Not just great looking, but a great racer too! Nathan Parks, takes fist place that day in the last stage of the Cascade stage race in Oregon.

We spent 6 great days in Bend, Oregon at the Cascade race. There were 13 of us all sharing a big house by Mt. Bachlor. The guys did some great racing, ending the week in 4th place over-all.


Here is my handsom hubby driving us to Oregon.


This is Mt. Shasta.....Isn't it pretty!



Petit Lutin cooking up some grub. We spent alot of time cooking in that kitchen!



What a great looking team! EMC getting back from a race.



Nathans last victory wave before he heads back to California.

Our new bike!

I am so excited! Nome and I just bought a new tandem, and it's so pretty...oohhhhhh! Now we can really ride together.

Nome has been trying to get me on one of these things for a long time.....you now have your wish. Can we have it painted pink??

EMC in Nevada City for Fathers Day

My honey and I were in Nevada City for a race this Fathers Day, and we had a great time! It was a beutiful day, all are friends were there, and we were all enjoying the sunny weather and the great racing. I have a few pictures to share, hope you enjoy them.



Here is my sweetypie warming up before the race with his buddies Joe and Nathan. There are some good looking men on team EMC!




This is Joe in the line up at the start of the race.....it looks like he is in deep thought.. (I must ride fast, I must ride fast).



Look at that smile, Yikes! Ok all you single girls out there; Nathan is single, very sweet, and oh so good looking!!! Ok, what was I talking about.....Oh yah, the race.


Here is my great looking, babe of a man (and an awsome father), huffing it up a hill with some other hard working racers. Don't look too hard, he is my man!

All in all, team EMC had a good race day with Rich and Nathan finishing in the top ten. Great Job Guys!!!!

Happy Fathers Day to all you awsome fathers out racing Sunday, you are all heros in your kids eyes!

Today

Today I feel like I just don't belong. I feel like I am looking through a window, I can see everything but I can't touch it, I can't feel it.


I feel like a silent witness to all the things going on around me. Like a ghost I have a voice that no one can hear, and a form that no one can see or recognize.


Sometimes I wonder what my purpose is, but today the answer alludes me. I look around me but no one is there.....Today I am standing alone.

Mine

Today is so lovely, so dreamy and fine
Just to be with you is simply devine.
Your beutiful smile, and dark soulful eyes
You are so peaceful, grounded and wise.


When we are together, time seems to stand still
You whisper my name, and my spine gets a chill.
Just to be with you is simply devine
I am so greatful that you are mine.

Summer Time

Summer is my favorite time of the year. This is the time when I spend the cool mornings out in my yard admiring my lovely roses, and tending all my lovely flowers.



This year I will also be out in the cool mornings riding my little pink bike! I love riding my bike, it is so relaxing. I go out mines road and all the little animals are eating their morning breakfast, and running all about...mag pies, squirls, cows, crows, and deer.


I love to watch my shasta daisies blowing in the wind on a breezy summer afternoon. My family room window opens to the most beautiful view of my front garden like a huge moving picture my flowers sway back and forth in the mid-day breeze.

Enjoy your summer, I know I will!!!

Difficult times have helped me to understand better than before how infinitely rich and beautiful life is in every way and that so many things that one goes worrying about are of no importance whatsoever.

Isak Dinesen

Today a new sun rises for me; everything lives, everything is animated, everything seems to speak to me of my passion, everything invites me to cherish it.

Anne De Lenclos

My Greatest Miracle

He rises in the morning bringing light into my day, shining brightly and delightly sending sunbeams out to play.

He is so warm and cuddly, so bright and shinny too, the world revolves around him as it has since he was new.

He sets in the evening all is quiet in the house, it's time for him to go to bed, he's quiet as a mouse.

He shines each day his loving way sharing love with everyone; he is my greatest miracle, he's my child, he's my son.

To My Love!

Happy Anniversary!
April 22, 1989
17 years married
21 years together!

Every day is the greatest day of my life when I am with you!

You always amaze me with the things that you do, because no matter what it is, you do it to the best of your ability.

You are my best friend, my greatest lover. With you, I can be my true self, no questions asked!

Somehow, out of all the twists and turns our lives could have taken, and out of all the chances we might have missed, it almost seems like we were given a meant-to-be moment- to meet, to get to know one another, and to set the stage for a special life together.

When I am with you, I know that I am in the presence of someone who makes my life more complete than I ever dreamed it could be. I turn to you for trust, and you give it openly. I look to you for inspiration, for answers, and for encouragement, and- not only do you never let me down- you lift my spirits up and take my thoughts to places where my troubles seem so much farther away and my joys feel like they're going to stay in my life forever.

My heart is so thankful that you are here.

Did You Know?

Your brain only has the ability to see what you believe is possible.

In a world full of infinite possibilities...

What do you believe is possible for you in your life?

The Living Dead

Sometimes I wonder if anyone is truly living. Most people I observe are either lost in their past or consumed with their future. Is there anyone here in this moment? My grandmother stopped living years ago, yet she is still here. The only thing she has to talk about is her past, because she stopped living after my grandfather died. Many people that I talk to are so stuck in thier past, that their present lives are falling apart, and they can't understand why. How can someone move on in their life, if they don't let go of what used to be?

There is no going back! You can't change what happend, so why not move forword, learn from your past experiance, and live your life right now! Right now in this moment, before this moment is gone.

Ronnie & Cailen

This is my best friend Cailen. Cailen and I get to hang out together this week every day after school. We have lots of fun spending time together , we talk and laugh, and watch movies. Sometimes Cailen even gets to spend the night! She will always be my special friend.

A Day at the Beach

Sunday was a great day! My child and I explored a beach in Santa Cruz. We saw star fish and sea flowers, hermit crabs, and skeleton fish. It was a great day filled with fun, adventure, and sandy sneakers. I am so greatful for every moment I share with my beautiful children, they bring me such joy!

I Love My Life!

Everyday I get to wake up to these handsome young men who I love so much.

First Post

Is this thing on. Breaker breaker, 10-4 good buddy.