I was thinking about me today. What if everything I am experiencing is just a reflection of myself, like if I were standing in a hall of mirrors, a hall of fun house mirrors. I could see all my reflections, but they were all different.
What if everyone in my life is just a reflection of some part of me. I was holding little Ronnie this morning and for the first time, I could see my reflection staring back at me. I thought back to the time of the dream of him. The time I decided to have children and what I was thinking and experiencing at that time. When I look at my son now, I can see manifested before my eyes my thoughts and experiences at his conception. I understood in that moment, myself.
All the reflections around me, my husband, children, family and friends have a new meaning to me. I look at my son and see how fragile, yet how much strength he reflects back to me. This child who is unable to see, move or speak, yet his affect on everyone around him is so profound. How can this be? I have spent so much of my life feeling powerless and immobile with an inaudible voice, yet I look at my son and see such beauty and strength. Is that who I really am….beauty and strength? I look into his eyes and see Love, is that who I really am…..Love?
2 comments:
I can't wait to come home and give Boo Boo a hug and kiss.
I love you honey. Thank you for everything you reflect into my life!
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